Too Little, Too Late, Too Bad. (Compassion deficiency)
The other day, a priest friend of exceptional achievement died in a nursing home where he had been relegated for the past few years. There was an outpouring of encomia and expression of high regard from many places. There were many truly sincere feelings of appreciation and sadness. Unfortunately, as often happens, he was not around to learn how much his life had meant to others.
His mental acuity had plunged into a vacant kind of passivity with the television set, which included inane ads and frenetic pitches for floor polish or doggy meals. The deadening, restrictive, if necessary nursing home regime took its toll, day after day, with the unrelenting pressure for control of frail, bewildered seniors. Add understaffing (with its inescapable minor neglect) and one sees easily the sadness of the modern way of caring for a population which is living longer and is probably more lonely than previous generations.
An ironic twist to this priest’s death is that a few days ago he had asked that some priests visit him. Even in his decline, he found the bitter taste of loneliness which intensifies with age. Only one priest was faithful to a weekly visit which he apparently relished. The rest of us found plausible rationalizations to not visit him.
“I really should visit…” “I am so busy or tired…” “Others with more free time will surely visit him…” With endless variations on the same theme….
It is complicated since most of us enjoy mouthing endless references to “family” and “brotherhood”. The reasonable excuses we all have might diminish personal responsibility, yet, deep in one’s psychic core, we are aware that if we really believed what we say, we would somehow make time for one of humankind’s almost universal needs.
It makes one wonder how societies massively deceive themselves or is it an ignorance of human nature? Is it a symptom indicative of something deeper? Is it some kind of archaic personal mode of defense, eons old? Is it sheer laziness or self involvement? Is it primary selfishness that rules us? Does the old US Navy quip of ‘Let’s shove off - I’m aboard’ ring more true than we thought?
Certainly some such self-involvement is essential for human survival. But if one pushes for a clearer perspective on human happiness, thinking of others is probably a surer way to authentic human development and ultimate satisfaction and happiness.