Simple Kindness

He was a very elderly priest with a spectacular history of missionary work in San Francisco and a valiant career in World War II as a decorated combat Chaplain. Knowing his demise was proximate, he was musing, one colorful autumn afternoon, about his life and the few unfulfilled wishes he had left. His principal wish was to travel by train along the Hudson River to Albany during the colorful fall season, but wheelchair bound, his prospects were patently slim. Most of us thought: “Not a chance…Can’t be done”

But some young priest abruptly chimed in and said “I’ll take you….” And indeed he did. Later in the week he pushed the wheel chair to a taxi for Grand Central Station. He boarded the train with the old priest for the glorious trip north. They saw endless trees painted lusciously and colorfully by the Creator on both sides of the mighty Hudson. Mile after mile after mile. They had lunch in Albany and returned to New York that evening. The old priest was exuberant and grateful and did die some months later.

That brotherly event, though from years past, remains deep in my memory. How many people, priests or otherwise, would put themselves out for such a charitable extended effort for the elderly with all their complaints and problems? Most of us really can’t be bothered beyond the basic protocols of human decency. We think a quick minimal remark of esteem like a nod or a simple hello ought to do it, particularly, if the person is cranky or unattractive or not in my “crowd”. For centuries Religious orders have taught endlessly of the negative impact exclusive “friendships” have upon living Christian principles. Everyone theoretically is to be treated the same.

Obviously we are all drawn to those who like us or with whom we have many commonalities. The Mysteries of human magnetism are profound and powerful and are to be accepted more than understood. The military knows this and requires the acknowledgment of another’s salute. Hopefully, those committed to Jesus by vow should practice this custom as well. The standard Moral theology textbook Tanquerey taught this as truly basic. Graciousness is a reflection of God’s love.

Everyone, probably way down deep in the viscera, prefers his own tastes in people. The principle “de gustibus, non disputandum est” is really unchallengeable.

But basic manners or charity would suggest at least normal recognition of others. Sometimes (should one dare to reach out with a greeting) one gets the indignant glare as if one is entering the royal presence without permission.

Human nature does seem to suggest the crisp Navy wise crack: “I got mine, Mac, let’s shove off…” But Christians, who have more than military training, are urged to follow the Christ Who died for all and Who implacably loves all. Do for anyone, not only for those whom we like. Even pagans do nice things for those they like!

Fr. Timothy Tighe, CSP

That is why overt acts of kindness remain in memory. They are rare. The young priest mentioned above is now an oldster himself, with quaking hand and uncertain hearing. He still does good things for old people like me (now 102).

Often he brings me delicious eggs for breakfast, toast and even more, engages me in adult conversation. What a pity there are not more like him in groups which loudly proclaim their “family” dimension.

There is more to family than three meals and a “flop”. Selective exclusion is something alien to real family. Many families have a “black” sheep but they are still family and treated so. With it all, somehow God bountifully provides even through “crooked lines.”

P.S. The young priest was Irishman Timothy Tighe.